What the hell am I doing with my life??

A question I’m sure most of us ask ourselves a few times in our lives. I’ve been going through a few changes lately which have left me thinking what on earth am I doing and where am I going with it! I ended up thinking back to when I was 16, finishing my GCSE’s and being forced to decide what I was going to do for the rest of my life.. at the mere age of SIXTEEN!!!! Thinking about the situation now, having grown from it, I think it’s ridiculous that 15/16 year old’s are expected to make this big decision. Of course there’s room to change your mind or really find your interests and maybe it was the school I went to but I just remember my teacher’s drumming into us that we had to get A*-C’s in our GCSE’s or else we wouldn’t get into the best college’s or sixth forms of our choice and so therefore we won’t be able to get a good foot in the door for our future careers. In other words.. we’d fail at life.

I’m not quite sure how young my audience ranges to but for anyone around this age range  who might feel the pressure do not worry! You’re young.. We’re young. We have time to figure it all out! It’s quite important to have an idea of your interests and potential career choices (disclaimer: this post is not to encourage laziness or a “go with the flow” / “wing it” kind of lifestyle but simply to reassure you that’s it’s OKAY to not have the answer right now) but don’t stress out if you haven’t made a set decision or plan just yet. I can probably list my career choices over the past 5-7 years:

  • model (glamour, then hand)
  • photographer
  • psychologist (clinical, then counselling, then child)
  • beauty therapist
  • blogger
  • something social media related
  • something to do with childcare
  • honestly, the list is endless!

I personally don’t think this is such a bad thing. I know some people will probably read this post and my list and think “goodness, what a misguided and confused girl” but I honestly believe that in life we shouldn’t be set to just one thing. Well, that’s how I want to live anyway (disclaimer: not trying to influence my beliefs or lifestyle on others). I want to be involved in as many things as possible, have a number of different qualifications and experience in loads of different fields. That way, I don’t have to worry about what one thing I’m going to for the rest of my life. I’ll have more choice.


As Patrick demonstrates above it’s easy to feel like the anomaly in a group of friends where everyone is talking about all their goals and dreams and what they’re doing to achieve these especially when you haven’t quite figured it out yet. We are easily influenced by our friends and especially our parents and families. For a while I was so caught up by what my parents thought was best for me I forgot to think about what I actually want! I recently made a decision that is sort of the complete opposite of what my parents were hoping for me and for ages I was so worried about telling them. It didn’t stop me, I’d made up my mind and made my decision and it was just a matter of actually telling them. Low and behold they support me ! They’re my parents after all. This brought me to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter what I do, as long as I work hard and I’m successful!

And remember, change happens at any age! It’s never too late or too early to try something new or pick up a new hobby, to pick up a new qualification or even start a new career path!

I wish you all nothing but success my lovelies.

Elisekirsten xo.


Challenging Negative Thoughts

I promise that not all my posts will be as deep as these or based around mental health but I did not expect to get the response that I did from my prior posts. I realised that opening up about my illness and what I was dealing with really helped others which is my whole purpose for blogging – to reach out to others.

I woke up this morning knowing that I wanted to be productive today, as I aim for every day but I started feeling quite low. It’s so easy for me to become distracted by my negative thoughts and slump back into my old ways but as I’ve progressed and become more aware to my mental state, I’m now trying to challenge my thoughts. I have the forsaken ability to think myself into a complete low and depressive state which I’m trying ever so hard to fight against but it’s definitely easier said than done. The other day I decided I wanted to work more and I fancied another job so I started looking at applications online, the next day I got a call back for an interview so of course I was so happy but by the time the interview day came along, I woke up in the morning and I just did not feel prepared. I’m the type of person who can easily make myself feel guilty for things like not ticking off most things on my to-do list or not attending an interview lol. I just did not feel prepared for this interview, it’s something I was excited about and I suddenly felt crap. I was kind of going back and forth in my head about what to do and I decided I was going to reschedule it for another day. A lot of people won’t understand my thought process and will look at the situation as “why didn’t she just go to the interview, she’s just being lazy” but I’ve realised it’s not my job to make people understand or convince people.

Instead of making myself feel worse about myself for not going to that interview or worrying about other people’s judgement and opinions, I try to look at everything more positively. It’s not that I’m not grateful for the opportunity or that I didn’t want to go to the interview, I just didn’t feel good about it at the time and I wouldn’t want to jeopardise my chances of getting the job knowing I’m not giving it my all. I told myself I made the best decision and there’s nothing wrong with rescheduling! This allows me time to prepare and a decent amount of headspace.

It’s a challenge. But I’m going to challenge all my negative thoughts. I’m going to take back control of my life! I hope this helps lovelies.

Elisekirsten xo.


How I’ve lost weight!

I’ve always loved keeping fit and going to the gym. I’ll be honest, I’ve never been good at sticking to a healthy diet and I give in to cravings so easily but I definitely love working out! About 6 months ago now I was doing an Insanity workout video and ended up injuring my knee. I’m honestly quite a clumsy person and I actually hurt myself a lot lol so when I first had pains in my knee and leg I just thought it would sort itself out and I’d be fine but half a year later and it’s only gotten worse! I realised maybe a little too late that this wasn’t something that was just going to fix itself so I finally went to multiple doctors who all said “my goodness how have you done that, that’s a proper footballer injury” and now everyday I think ‘well maybe if I was a bloody footballer, I would definitely be on the road to recovery!’

On my worst days I can barely walk so from quite early on I’d completely cut out the gym and any kind of exercise. Six months and barely any exercise means of course I started putting on weight. I’ve never really cared enough to take note of how many pounds I put on or lose, I focus more on my appearance and I was definitely gaining some extra chub. I just remember eating any and everything and not even thinking about how it would impact my body. Just before my injury I was developing abs and my body was quite toned and as of lately, I just hadn’t been happy with how my body had been looking. It started to get me down because I really loved working out and cardio was probably my fav but I just felt like there was nothing I could do to really shift this extra weight the way I wanted to and knew how.

Naturally I began to lose weight through stress and that’s about the only thing I can thank all my stresses for but I wanted to maintain my weight and lose a little extra so I decided to look into a healthy eating regime. And then along came Protein World! I’d always been a bit sceptical about these weight loss programs mainly because of a lack of knowledge but it doesn’t hurt to try right? I use the Slender Blend protein powder as a meal replacement once/twice a day for breakfast and lunch and have small snacks in between if necessary. I have the chocolate and vanilla flavour (I prefer vanilla) and I mix mine with water. I’ve had it with milk too but I find it’s a bit too thick and anything with milk like milkshakes etc always makes me feel sick so water works best for me!

At the moment, I have a shake for breakfast and something light for lunch like a chicken salad and some fruit and maybe a light pasta or salmon for dinner. It’s not easy. I just wanted to make that clear because I have cravings and temptations as I’m sure we all do but I’ve kind of promised myself to make a conscious effort this time in staying healthy!

I hope this helps for anyone in a similar situation.

Elisekirsten xo.


Lately I’ve been really focused on me and doing loads of little things that make me happy. Nothing major but just little things like going and getting my nails done, buying that bag I’d been looking at for a while, pampering myself at home frequently etc. Things that give me a little pick me up and make me feel good about myself.

I’m lucky enough to know an amazing girl who is an absolutely amazing henna artist. I’ve always loved henna designs but really only had it done about three times so when the opportunity popped up to get it done of course I said yes. I am definitely one of the least creative and most indecisive people so whenever somebody asks me “what do you want?” I usually just stare at them blankly because I just never know. Luckily for me, she’s a great freehand artist and came up with the design completely off the top of her head. I admire creatives and their eye for detail and if their was anything I could tweak about myself I would definitely wish to be more creative!

I would recommend her to anyone! Why? ..

  • She’s mobile! My best friend and I had ours done at home which makes everything so much easier. Every other time I’ve had henna done, I end up walking around like an idiot trying to dodge everyone and everything whilst it dries.
  • She makes the henna herself. I was so gobbed once I found out she makes it from scratch because I know a few henna artists but none who dedicate themselves to perfecting their craft the way Emz does.
  • The henna is freshly made and chemical free!
  • She is such a sweetie. I’m probably biased because I know her lol but I think there’s nothing worse when having some sort of treatment done by someone who doesn’t actually make their client/customer feel comfortable so you’re sitting there in an awkward silence.

Foolishly, I didn’t take the best pictures but check out the design she did for me and I will of course note down her instagram so make sure you check that out too!!

Elisekirsten xo.

Instagram: hennabyemz