The Cold Generation

This is a topic that has been on my mind for a while now because I see it everywhere. Whether I’m talking to my friends or scrolling through social media it’s promoted everywhere. We as a generation encourage this kind of cold and heartless, almost ‘too proud’ lifestyle or mentality. We make it cool to not love. Now, I’m an old school romantic in every way and I love the idea of that old school love, I wear my heart on my sleeve and I give a thousand second chances. Of course this doesn’t always work in my favour, I’m more susceptible to being taken for granted, to be taken advantage of and to be hurt. I’m aware of all of this but no matter what happens within my friendships and relationships, when things go bad I just can’t put up that front. I’ve tried believe me, but it just doesn’t last.

I don’t know why the subject plays on my mind so much but I find that it’s everywhere. I see it when listening to conversations or scrolling through twitter or even looking at memes! And it’s not just the aspect of love, we no longer communicate anymore. If someone p*sses us off we just stop speaking to them or in the worst case scenario we just block and delete them. If we do communicate we focus solely on the problem but we rarely explain how it makes us feel. Everyone seems too protected or too proud these days to be honest. I completely understand vulnerability but it seems we’ve replaced communication and honesty with fears of being vulnerable. We give off this illusion that it’s cool to not need anybody but I’ve never met anybody who promotes this mentality in a positive light. You can tell that it always comes from a place of hurt. I’ve never come across anybody who, calmly with a great big smile on their face and looking genuinely happy can say “I don’t need anybody, everybody is replaceable.” (no idea who the woman is btw)

young woman portrait with a toothy smile

The truth is, people need people. It’s how we work. We all need something from each other and as scary as it is to potentially put yourself in a place to be hurt or taken advantage of, I believe life is about taking risks. I’ve learnt that getting hurt, or being lied to, or being heartbroken, or having a friend stab you in the back and everything related are all part of life. I personally can’t avoid these things and I don’t think anyone else can. Honestly, I’m more afraid to become “heartless” and not care for anyone or anything. What will matter to me? What will be important to me? But don’t get me wrong, I am not completely naive to give the best of me to just anyone. On the other hand, I am completely selective and very choosey with the company I keep, if I don’t feel a good vibe from a person the first few times we meet then it’s very unlikely I’ll make much effort moving forward and this applies for friendships, relationships, acquaintances at work etc.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, it makes me kind of sad to see so many people with this mindset. Not because I think it’s a bad way to think, don’t get me wrong I completely understand it, I’ve even been there in the past. The only people who can hurt us are the people we actually care about so it makes sense to simply not care. But it makes me feel sad because I’m scared that this is what we’re creating for future generations. The anger and the hurt from whatever situation along with fear that we have built up is what I believe is the sole cause for this way of thinking. Of course some people are a lot less valuable to us than others, let’s be honest, but if you tweet something along the lines of “I don’t need anybody, everyone can get cut off!” does that literally mean ‘everyone’? Should I as your hypothetical best friend look for the exit door now, or wait for the cut? Just know that not everybody in this world is an a**hole but you’re never going to find or be able to hold onto the goodies with a ‘sod the world’ mentality.

“Life’s roughest storms prove the strength of our anchors” – Unknown.

Hope this helps lovelies.

Elisekirsten. xo


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