I’ve written a similar blogpost to this which mainly focused on university and loads of people seemed to relate but I wanted to talk about the struggles of being in your twenties. It just feels like you’re too young to have it all together but too old not to. Theoretically, I would have finished my uni degree by now and been on my way to graduation but I’ve skipped that part for now, but for all my friends who I’ve watched work so hard to achieve their degrees, funnily enough we’re all sitting in the same ‘lost in life’ boat staring at each other just as confused as each other.
We’re in the big wide world now and I feel like I’ve been reborn in a sort of ‘the stalk dropped me off’ kind of way with no note for my potential carer (employer), no direction of how to get to where I’m heading and no instructions to follow. When you’re in the education system, you always know what’s next and what all the steps are, until you reach the end. Then you’re left on your own and expected to work it all out. I’m currently at a stage where; my parents, family members, older friends, my friends’ families, coworkers, strangers, the guy doing my blood test, the random old lady on the bus and many more, are all looking at me with these huge hopeful eyes and asking “what’s the plan?” Whilst making sure to avoid eye contact, I sheepishly reply “I just don’t know yet”.
I’m tired of it, seriously! At what point do people stop associating age and university together and why do people think it’s okay to ask what your plan is!? WHO said I even have a plan? Because honestly, I don’t! I don’t have a f*****g clue what the plan is. I had a plan, and when it came to carrying it out I didn’t like it, so I had to scrap that plan and I’m currently trying to make a new one. I’ll happily call myself a blogger/content creator, but it’s proving hard to make a plan in this industry. Let’s say you get a job in retail, the first few days – a week of starting, you have someone on your back showing you what to do and how the business runs. Being a blogger, you’re both the new employee and the existing employee. You’re running your business whilst working out how to run your business. For me, it’s currently trial and error and unless I just haven’t done enough research, I just don’t know what the clear cut steps are, and then you’ve got to plan the back up plan too!
Everyone says the twenties are supposed to be some of the best years of your life but right now (only 21) I feel so much pressure. Constantly looking down on myself for not doing enough or not being enough yet reassuring myself this stage is absolutely normal. I’ve spoken to (or overheard conversations of) people at all different stages of twenties.. 22, 26, even as late as 29 and yet nobody seems to be confident in this new adult life full of responsibility and plans.
So here I am, young and trying to figure it out and if it any point I find the major key to help us all through life, I’ll be sure to let you all know but for now, just know that I get it. I can relate to what you’re feeling and I believe in you!